SPEEDING

Actually one thing I started noticing about typing is how I rely on the computer to complete words for me, and have the habit of pausing, or not correcting my words faster than I could, almost waiting for the program to correct it. This is actually one reason why I haven’t properly utilised Shift, since whatever writing program that I was using usually autocorrects the first alphabet of a sentence to uppercase anyway. I think for now perhaps I should be focusing more on making less mistakes, than purely on speed. I need to train the muscles to make the right connections (neural pathways?) first before I can develop speed, otherwise all i’ll be doing is learning how to correct mistakes quicker. Which is still a useful skill, though it is obviously preferable to not make the mistake in the first place. 

This is actually a tendency that I tend to carry over other activities, I exert a big amount of energy without first considering the direction, and end up having to correct my actions retroactively. Patience is a quality I admire but always end up forgetting to practice. I don’t know where this comes from. Even as I am typing now I am constantly being aware of my overeager fingers tripping over themselves. My mother used to point out that I talk too fast on the phone, and I am told that I tend to talk quickly when giving presentations as well. I like to think that this is a sign of intelligence but again that would be me stroking my ego. This is especially apparent when I am interacting with someone that takes their time. I find myself halting, and forcing myself to be more concise, as I become very aware that everything I say is being carefully considered. I’d really like to be more like these people, and I’ve found myself on occasion saying these really slow, vague things in order to give this impression that I am someone who takes their time. Looking back this all sounds very terrible. 

This is not to say that I am a developed “fast” person either. I’ve met someone that blew me away, though only in the sense that his mental processing and word-generating speed threw me off. The conversation was the equivalent of me walking down a dirt road and him speeding off a highway, if you will. The questions and theories that he was throwing out was at a rate that I simply could not keep up with. Or at least, the facade that I’d put up that I was a “cool person” could not keep up with. Because for an uninformed person with limited interests, it is really difficult to challenge these comments if I don’t already have a position formed, or had thought prior about these topics. It is probably pretty obvious that I am shit at parties. As much as I enjoy the theatrics of seeing and being seen there really isn’t enough stuff in me to bounce ideas off people.

So I am above average on the speed scale but am currently not fast enough to really make it my thing. That’s all I really have to say about it for now. I’m going to try to have these daily entries for a week, and maybe phase it to one considered, long-form piece per week after this period. But to really put in the practice of being patient, even if it is just going at it one word at a time.