support

It has a been a while and unfortunately I have not gotten much better at using the Shift Key. This will definitely have to be a concerted effort.. although perhaps even if this is the only context in which I use the Shift Key it is Better Than Nothing?

The subject today is on the relation between subject and support. My base interest in architecture has always been in its ability to quietly shape the environment- when used well it creates spaces that give a sense of comfort and encourages people to enjoy themselves and each other. When used _ it gives rise to alienation and apathy. Hence I have always been drawn to projects that engage materiality and practices of daily life – the bare essentials, stripping back layers until all that is left are the bare bones of material.

As such I would like to reflect on some examples of support-

Bread has a subtle flavor on its own, but most of the time it is used more as the carrier for other ingredients, without it as the base, other ingredients can only be enjoyed separately. But their full nature is really only expressed when combined with others.

Colors work in a similar way- it is much harder to pair two colors that match well, than it is to pair a color and a neutral. In this sense the neutral is seen as a supporting color- though it is still important to choose a neutral that still complements the brighter color, and the brighter color should have enough difference from the neutral such that it doesnt draw attention away from it.

In group dynamics, I have noticed that some people instinctively take on a supportive role, making sure everyone has the tools and are taken care of- this last bit has some nuance to it however, there is taking care in the emotional sense and also the physical sense, though one often begets the other.

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A pain point for me unfortunately is how I fail to support those close to me. This has been a consistent problem…unless I personally really like their work, I do not show appreciation, though I should really be supporting them regardless. It comes down to self doubt I think, because I am constantly doubting myself, I am always doubting others as well. I wish I could get passionate about them more though, as I really appreciate it when they are passionate about me. Not that I want to fake my appreciation, but I do want to communicate my support for them more. (wow reading this over it is very much like how I treat my own work)

Perhaps the strategy would be to start with the baseline of love- of appreciating how what they have done builds on what came before. And just to support regardless? To acknowledge that it is less about me and more about showing my support? Though on the flipside I would hope that my friends are willing to be honest with me. Can one can be supportive without completely agreeing?

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Lessons from Dushka Zapata:

“Support” is defined by the person who needs it, not the person who wants to give it.

If I really want to do things for him, getting insight and feedback into what that is should feel enlightening rather than upsetting.

I’ve got to notice when I am thinking about what I want, even when it’s cleverly disguised; and start getting curious about what they want, and how I can offer it.